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Amnesia - Issue 07 (1991-11-23)(Eclipse).adf
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drugs.txt
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1989-05-09
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Pharmacology and Therapeutics
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LECTURE 69
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DRUGS WHICH ARE COMMONLY ABUSED
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ALCOHOL - Obtained from Bars and Public Houses. Taken Orally, normal dose
varies between 5 & 10 pints. Most commonly prescribed is Newcastle Brown
Ale trade name 'Dog'. Acts centrally by inhibiting acceptable behaviour.
Above the Therapeutic range the Chemoreceptor Trigger Zone may produce a
vomiting response.
Side effects include frequenting Curry Houses in the Selly Oak area,
sleeping with people you wouldn't spit on when you were sober, singing
Rugby songs and saying embarrassing things. Also Willie Droop Syndrome may
be observed in the badly affected.
CANNABIS - Trade name 'Ganja'. Usually bought from dubious individuals
called Dave, and smoked at Selly Oak Lawyers Parties. Acts brilliantly,
with an increased tendency to laugh at things which aren't funny e.g.
Terry and June, The Jimmy Tarbuck Show etc.
ECTASY - Trade name 'Acciiiiieeeeeed'. Only taken when dancing to crap
musak. Acts by inhibiting 'Music Taste Centre' in the Hypothalamus. It was
first used to enable Record Store workers to work long periods of time
whilst listening to Kylie Minogue singles.
COCAINE - Taken nasally. Produces a euphoric effect of making you forget
how much you paid for it. Acts on the 'Crack' receptor in the CNS.
Side Effects - Spending lots of money in a short time e.g. a term's grant
in a week-end.
HEROIN - Trade name 'Smack'. Taken by prats. Acts by knocking five shades
of s**t out of your CNS. Makes you think that you can do anything you want
to do, including giving it up.
Side Effects - Being arrested. Being cremated.
A. Junkie
1st April 1991